Paul
at the helm
As I said before
Paul was the only
person
Who discovered
My oh so subtle
hustling techniques
Of Brasserie `Chez Margot`
But those tales happened
Late eighties and
early nineties
Spent an evening `Chez
Margot`
And used good old Paul
as a drunken muse
I`d doubt it though
Every bar
Every dive
Around the world
Has their own Barney
Gumbles version
It`s part of the human
equation
Paul had grayish hair
Thick round metallic
glasses
I think he was late
fifties, early sixties
He looked like a
broker
Businessman
Used car salesman
maybe
I`d walk in `Chez
Margot `
Around 7.30 PM
I`d see Paul sitting
at his usual spot
The first table next
to the entrance
I`d say hi and that
would be it
I don`t know why
We never talked much
The longest
conversation we had
Was when we where
taking a leak
I remember
We used to talk about
the new waitress
She had long dark hair
Sexy blue eyes
That were glowing in
the dark
With a set of…
Anyways
She looked like a
siren from heaven
Or maybe hell
She was really popular
with the gents
Easily understandable
A lot of girls were
getting jealous of all that attention
So they started
spreading rumors
Saying Julian was a
whore
She was sleeping with
all the guys
Bullshit I say
I never banged her
I know Julian
And Pierre (the
bouncer)
Had a thing together
They would be leaving
together
Every night
Holding hands
You don`t have to be a
rocket scientist
To figure that one out
A couple of guys
Were jealous of Pierre
How so fucking human
I never understood
jealousy though
What`s the point ?
You`re hurting
yourself
With your insecurity
And you`re hurting
others
Trying to bring them
down with you
So you don`t feel
alone
In your own little
personal hell
It`s pretty lonely
Being in the dark
But anyways
Back to our story
It was a Friday night
I walked in all alone
Pat had a big ass cold
And Chris
Was busy with his new
girlfriend
Lucky him I though
He`s getting some
Lucky me
More beer for me I
though
Nobody is playing pool
The place is almost
empty
It`s early February
And I`m sitting all
alone
Aside from Paul
I don`t know
anybody here
Might as well join him
Hey Paul mind if I
have drink with you my man
Sure thing Tom, have a
seat
Here have a smoke
Thanks Tom
My pleasure mon ami
Paul you wanna play a game of pool ?
Paul looks me straight
in the eyes and says
Tom I`ve watched you
And I know you
More than you know
yourself
You`re gonna ask me to
play for a pitcher ?
You`re gonna hustle me
for beer ?
Like you do every
weekend ?
When you come in here
With your two friends
Paul you got it all
wrong
It`s true I play a
couple of games
For a couple of beers
But I don`t do it all
evening
After all
I came here to drink
With my friends
Not to play pool all
night
You know what I mean
Hey, I know
Exactly what you mean
When you`re too drunk
to play
You keep telling
The same excuse
Every weekend
Dude, win or lose
This is me last game
I came here to drink with me mates
Not to play pool all
night
Fuck, I`m screwed
He knows my little
trick
I don`t know what to
say
My face is so damn red
I look him straight in
the eyes
Well
Well what Tom ?
What are you gonna do
?
Sweet fuck all
What ?
Hey if those idiots
Are so fucking stupid
They don`t realize
what you`re doing
Might as well
Screw them more
After all Tom
YOU`RE A HUSTLER !!!
YOU`RE A HUSTLER !!!
Good thing the place
is empty
I though
Nobody hears him
scream
I`m saved by the bell
The hustler`s bell
maybe ?
We started talking
about music
Turns out
Paul is a blues fan
I saw Stevie Ray
Vaughan & Double Trouble
Live twice
I proudly say
Where ?
The Olympic Stadium
You`re shitting me
No I`m not
There was four bands
that evening
He was the opening act
After there was
Peter Tosh
Talking Heads
And The Police
Must have been a good
show
Indeed my man indeed
Saw him last year
At the Spectrum
He literally blew the
place man
I can imagine that
Wow!!!
The place is empty
I`m fucking tired
Last call dudes
But Pierre
It`s only two o`clock
Give us a chance Paul
says
Sorry guys
Drink up and I`ll see
you tomorrow
Alright
We finish up
And proceed to go
outside
It`s cold
And particularly humid
That Pierre what a dick
Not only is he banging
Julian
But now he`s kicking
us out
I`m gonna go in
Kick his ass
Take it easy Paul
If you kick his ass
We`ll have to find
another drinking spot
Besides
The beer`s dirt cheap
here
You`re right Tom
I know
Wanna share a cab ?
I parked my car at the
corner of the street
Wanna lift Tom ?
Sure thing dude
He opens the car doors
We sit down
Light up some smokes
And away we go
Where do you live Tom
?
St-Michel boulevard
Corner of Villeray street
That`s not too far
Something`s wrong here
My spider sense is
tingling
Paul is driving really
slow
Hey man
You`re driving kinda
slow
Everything alright ?
I have to be careful
Tom
I don`t want to lose
my job
I`m a pizza delivery
guy
What ?
I deliver pizza you
fucking douche bag
I got that one
I`m not that stupid
you know
I`m sorry man
I should`nt be driving
How come ?
I don`t have a license
anymore
And why is that ?
I`ll end up in jail
For sure
And I`ll probably be
Some inmate`s bitch
`cause I`m so small
And how are you
feeling now ?
I ask
Pretty loaded
At what time did you arrive
Chez Margot ?
I got in around ten
thirty am
And you never left
I left with you Tom
That`s all
Damn !
And I`m thinking
If we get busted
Paul would probably be
The kind of guy
To tell the cops
That I was the one
Even
If he was drunk as a
skunk
Gotta get out of here
Gottta find something
Think of a plan
And think fast dude
Hey Paul
I get off next street
That`s not your stop
Tom
I know
You see
I know this cute girl
Which lives on this
here street
If I make it fast
I could bang her right
now
Why fast ?
It`s simple
Her boyfriend works
the graveyard shift
I go inside
Do ma thing
And get out before
nine am
And I`m still alive
Tom you motherfucker
Not yet
I never met her mom,
ah, ah, ah
Well anyways
Thanks a lot for the
lift Paul
Anytime
Have a good banging
session
Have a good night
I get out
Pretend to go inside
The apartment
Wait until he`s gone
And walk back to my
home
It`s a good thing
I came up with that improvised
lie
Otherwise
I would still be
inside his car
And maybe
I wouldn`t be here
To tell the tale
Of
Paul at the helm.
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