Short story of the day

Means to an end  
François Marceau (23-06-2016)


Are you happy Terry Tranny?
What kind of a stupid question is that?
Are you a happy man? 
Happiness is an illusion created by mass media
Owned by big corporations in order for people to 
consume more products. 
Come again, I didn`t understand a word you`re saying. 
Terry slowly gets up, looks Gilbert Brownozzer straight in the eyes and says let me explain.     

- Try vitamin XXLX will make you bigger, stronger, more technology.                                               

– Have a double decker motherfucker gangbangedzilla cheeseburger with fries the size of your ass. 
For 2.99$ here at Max-Malaka. 

– Buy a six pack of our corporately owned `Nature`s last call `
Micro-brewed beer. It smells and tastes like nature`s last call. 
Just 16.99$ at your local slave trade conglomerate.   

- Shop at your local Wallzz-Of-Scrap. 
We have the lowest of the lowest prices here. 
Our prices are so low they`re beyond child labor.  

– You got a micro dick and tiny breasts. 
Don`t just stand there. 
Come and see us here at Supersize-me corporation. 
Fifty dollars per breast 
And a hundred dollars per penis. 
Do you want to look like a North American? 
We also do stomach enhancements. 
Comes with free cholesterol, diabetes
Heart attacks included. 
How`s that for a deal!  

- Unemployed and still looking for work? 
Your country needs you Bubba. 
Think about it for a second. 
We feed you
give you cool army gears
shelter
money 
and all the ammo you can handle
(guns, grenades, machineguns, flamethrowers, 
you name it Bubba). 
You`re still not convinced? 
You`re not randomly killing people, you`re liberating them. 
Sign on the dotted line please. 

- Unemployed and still looking for work (part two)? 
Send your resume at Youcantratethis conglomerate. 
There`s a bright future in store for you. 
You`ll be given a job
with no compensations
no pension funds
no union
no social advantages
with long working hours (overtimes never included). 
We focus on development and continuous training 
for all of our employees / associates / drones. 
We offer courses in back stabbing
superior ass kissing
hand / blow jobbing 
(special mentions for spitting or swallowing) 
and yesmanism. 
Our finest candidates may succeed 
in getting a Doctorate in Smitherism, 
the highest position on the corporate ladder. 
                                                                                                            – You don`t believe in God? 
You should be ashamed of yourself. 
There is a God you just 
didn`t choose which one yet. 
Think of all the possibilities, 
you can
maim
torture
rape
and kill all those who think differently 
because God is on your side. 
Which means you`re always on the winner`s side. 
Think about it. 
There`s a heaven for some
there`s virgins waiting for others 
and you redeem 
your karma ticket right at the entrance (for some).                                                                                        
Terry sits down, exhausted
he takes a sip from his latté. 
Gilbert Brownozzer stares blankly at him. 
He gets up and closes his file. 
He`s still staring blankly at Terry Tranny. 
Well mister Brownozzer. 
Well what? 
I`m sorry if I burst up like that. 
I didn`t mean to offend you. 
I`m a passionate person you know. 
Passion is a good thing mister Tranny. 
It has to be properly and corporately controlled 
like everything else in life. 
I`d like to shake your hand Terry. 
Yes sir. 
The kiss of death, he`ll fire me for sure now. 
Mister Tranny I have some good and bad news. 
I`m listening. 
The good news first. 
You`re promoted. 
I`ll put you in charge of the 
publicity and public relations department. 
But that`s Johnny Brownitongues position. 
That`s the bad news. 
You have to fire him. 
Think you`re up for it? 
I think so.
It`s Friday and you`re starting Monday. 
Don`t just stand there. 
Go fire his ass! 
I`m on my way. 
Terry gets out of his office
closes the door behind him. 
First time I`m firing someone. 
I`m so excited. I feel like God. 
I am God. 
I`m getting an erection here.                                                                                                                                                  

Various – Bluffers Guide Volume 6, 2005 Sizzling Summer (double CD)

I got this at Renaissance Montréal, again for 2.00$. I`m a sucker for Ninja Tune record label, ever since I bought, way back in 2000, their Xen Cuts (3 × CD Compilation). The music goes into various sonic territories: future jazz, hip hop, electronic and downtempo.  You will hear some songs from: Jaga Jazzist, Amon Tobin, AmmonContact, One Self, Dwight Trible & The Life Force, Trio, Airborn Audio, The Herbaliser, Mr. Scruff, Pest, Blockhead, Bonobo, Roots Manuva (two tracks), Spank Rock, Part 2, TTC, Diplo (two songs), Ty, and King Geedorah. There`s some amazing pieces here;

CD 1 – Sunny side

6 – Airborn Audio – inside the globe = funky electronics + hip hop = the perfect summer hit.

8 – Mr. Scruff – chicken in a box = downtempo funky electronic music, sweet.

CD 2 – Scrambled

4 – TTC – dans le club = an incredible mix of hip hop and electronica from those Parisian rappers. An interesting compilation. Too much hip hop for my taste buds (I prefer electronic music what can I say).

homemade postcard of the day

homemade postcards of the day

art is everywhere part 59

Introducing Theo Nelson

Theo Nelson
2611 Charlebois Dr. NW
Calgary
Alberta
T2L 0T5
Canada

art is everywhere part 58

Various mail art pieces that were lying around. Enjoy!

Mark Ritchie & Pete Coward (chapbook)

I`m so happy to receive this. I`d prefer a book but a split chapbook with Mark Ritchie will do. In case you didn`t know Mark does this amazing, black & white, cut & paste monthly zine titled `Hiroshima Yeah! `. He writes short, witty poems. I was always hoping an editor would publish his poems. No one did. He decided to self-publish which is often the best option. To give the devil his dues, we start with `poems from Glasgow `. there`s 14 poems from Mark. They`re all great but my favorite one is

Silence sometimes

There is silence sometimes,

But it is all too rare.

When it fall upon you, the

World seems to be holding it`s

Breath.

And in the red corner, I mean on the other side we get treated with `poems from London `. Pete Coward (a sometimes Hiroshima Yeah! Contributor) writes 13 short stories / poems. Good stuff, check this one out

Not dead yet

How do you not die?

Someone asked me once

After a few days

Intimate acquaintance

 

A few years later

I still have no answers for her

And am still

Not dead

 

Believe me,

It`s not for want of trying.

Damned this is good stuff. Contact: donbirnam@hotmail.com. Send him a donation, pay him a pint, don`t just stand there do something. This I command.